Not An Addict
by Little Rini
Summary: It should be R for the refrence of drugs, but oh well. It's just part one of a 2 or 3 part story. It's got angst here and will have romance later.
1. Not An Addict

Not Addict Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and I don't own K's Choice 'Not An Addict'. I do own Girls Of Destruction. 

Notes: This is what I think Relena might do to relieve the stress from peer pressure and trying to get away from Heero. The band that is playing in the club of the fanfic is 'Girls Of Destruction.' It's my friends and I's band. We are pretending we wrote the song. But we didn't. --whimpers-- I also switched the order of who plays what in my band. I wanted me to sing because, well... this song has meaning to me. Sorry Pat, Aly and Laura, but Im switching' it up.   
  
  
  


Relena walked into the club after 2 years after the last war Relena has made changes. She has gotten over Heero, since she hasn't seen him since the day she caught him. Also she does heroin. That's right. Our beloved Relena Dorlian Peacecraft does heroin. It's the only thing that keeps her from breaking down. Though she thinks she is not addicted she is. 

Relena looked around the club and saw the band on the stage and looked at the singer with green eyes and short Red hair an pale white she wore black baggy jeans with a black wife beater on that said 'Natural Born Killer'. She looked at the drum player who was a girl with long black wavy hair and mexican wearing a shirt with a huge dragon going around it and black pants.. The lead guitar player had slight tan skin with long brown hair in one braid wearing baggy black pants and a shirt that said "ChibiChibiChibi...." (A/N: Inside joke with me and my friends.). The bass guitar player had long blond hair and black leather pants on with a tank top that had a guitar on. The girl with Red hair took the mike and began to sing. 

Oohoo (19x) (after 5th Oohoo the drum and guitars come in. ) 

Some how Relena was mesmerized by the girls voice and then she began to sing words. 

Breath it in and breath it out   
and pass it on it's almost out   
We're so creative and so much more   
We're high above, but on the floor 

Relena wanted to turn around and walk out knowing the song was exactly how she felt and began to have a flash back. 

~*~ flash back ~*~   
Relena slowly inhaled the bud and passed it to the next person who happened to be a fellow class mate of hers. She felt no pain now. She forgot heero she was in heaven. 

~*~ end flash back ~*~ 

It's not a habit, it's cool   
I feel alive   
If you don't have it your on   
the other side 

As the singer started to sing again Relena felt so different now. 

The deeper you stick it in your vein   
The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain 

Relena looked at the singer and it was as if she was looking right at her. Knowing exactly how she felt. She could remember when she started to do heroin. God how that made her feel special for some reason. She felt like a real person. Relena began to shiver. 

I'm in heaven, I'm a god   
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot 

All her friends that does this with her say she is addicted. She refuses to say that. 

It's not a habit, it's cool   
I feel alive   
If you don't have it your on   
the other side 

As the singer began this next part she gave a confused look as she sang it. Relena almost wanted to scream she wasn't addicted. 

I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) 

As the singer began with the Oohoo's Relena felt Heero's presence and ran into the crowd. 

Oohoo (8x) 

Once she began to sing again Relena looked around panicked, scared and alone. 

It's over now, I'm cold, alone   
I'm just a person on my own   
Nothing means a thing to me   
Oh, nothing means a thing to me 

"Relena" she heard the voice behind her say she turned and looked at Heero and screamed out. "IM NOT AN ADDICT!" and ran deeper into the crowd. 

It's not a habit, it's cool   
I feel alive   
If you don't have it your on   
the other side   
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) 

Free me, leave me   
Watch me as I'm going down   
Free me, see me 

Relena cried in the middle of the crowd. She is dying, she is falling down into the mess she has made. She doesn't want to become a heroin addicted. It's too late. It's too late. 

Look at me I'm falling   
And I'm falling......... 

Relena looked up as the tune changed with only the lead guitar making noise and the chimes. 

Red Haired Girl & Brown Haired girl: It is not a habit, it is cool   
I feel alive I feel....... 

Then the drums came in and Heero grabbed Relena's shoulder. She screamed and pulled away. 

It is not a habit, it is cool   
I feel alive 

As the music started up she then started to hold her head. 

It's not a habit, it's cool   
I feel alive   
If you don't have it your on   
the other side   
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) 

"It's not a lie" she told herself and cried harder. 

I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict. 

As the song came to an end and the crowd left, but Heero stood in the shadows watching Relena cry on the floor.   
The girl with red hair came up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello, ma'am. Do you need a ride home?" the girl asked. Relena looked up her eyes blood shot she looked awful and she was almost happy no one could tell who she was. "N-no." she said shaking. 

"My name is Miriam. Im the singer of the band 'Girls Of Destruction. I saw you in the crowd. You looked like someone was chasing you. I'll take you to a hotel if you like. I can pay for it and everything. It wouldn't be a problem." the girl finished and Relena looked up at her. "You'd do that for a stranger?" Relena asked as Miriam pulled her up to stand. "I once was an addict. I know the feeling. I can give you the number of a great rehab, I got this number from my sister. She's worse than me, she can't even remember 10th 11th grade. (A/N: that's for my sister. She was gonna go to class... but then she got high.) No one will know you are in there, Relena." Miriam finished using Relena's name. Relena's eyes widened. "Please, don't-" she began but Miriam cut her off. "I won't tell a soul. It'll be our little secret. Okay?" she said smiling and her bright green eyes showing hope and friendship. "Thank you." Relena said. 

Heero watched Miriam take Relena to their bus. "Addicted?" Heero was puzzled. Relena has changed. Too much. Way too much.   


A/N: Im going to make more. just wait! ^.^ 


	2. Save Yourself

I Choose Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing... some people own them. o.O   
I don't own Off springs' song 'I Choose' Offspring does! ^.^ I do own, however, Girls of Destruction. An if you take I kill you. ^.^ 

Notes: Im making a sequel to 'Not An Addict' cause I made it to where I can make a sequel. HEhe! ^.^ 

Miriam led Relena to the bus and when they got one Miriam receive 3 odd looks. "What? Im nice. I can't help it." she said and they nodded. The girl with black wavy hair and mexican skin ran up to Relena and smiled. "Hey! I am Patricia, though you can call me Pat cause everyone els does." she said. She then pointed to the girl with brown hair in a braid. "That is Laura. We call her Shinny short for Shinigami." she paused and looked at Relena. "You know what that translates to right?" Pat asked. "Yes, I have a friend that calls himself that." she said. "Well cool. Im Shinny, call me Laura or whatever you want." Laura said and sat down on the couch in the bus. Pat now pointed at the girl with blonde hair. "This is Aly. We haven't made a nickname for her yet." Pat said smiling. "Hey, WONTON!" Aly greeted.. (A/N: Inside joke. WONTON!) "And.." she said prolonging the 'and' while pointing at Miriam. "You know her as Miriam probably but most people know her by Shi No Tenshi." she said. Relena blinked. "Angel of Death? You seem like such a nice person." Relena stated. "Oh! I am, but when Im singing I let my dark side come out." Miriam said smiling. 

- Hour or so later - 

Relena looked at the huge building. "This is the rehab I went to. I'll pick you up for our concerts. Okay?" Miriam said smiling at Relena. "I don't know, my brother and the world might..." she began. "Don't worry. We'll take care of it." Miriam said. Aly smiled and said "We have connections. In different area codes." Aly then walked off singing 'Area Codes' by Ludicras. 

Miriam smirked and looked at Relena. "Listen they will have you for a day, and you can come to our concert tonight. Let you get out and you stay there for a month okay? I promise no one will know. They have a tight security. I heard Trowa Barton made the security system." Miriam said. Relena cringed. 'That means Heero can get in.' she thought and walked into the building. "Use the name Aku Tamii." Miriam said and waved to Relena. 

- In the Rehab - 

Relena looked out the window of the rehab and saw all the trees. "Miss Tamii... Ahem. Miss Tamii?" Relena turned and looked at the nurse at her door. "We need to run some drug test. After that you have a visitor. He said he was a close personal friend." Relena nodded and went with the nurse. After they took all the test they confirmed what she was addicted to and how long ago she had it. "Okay, you can speak with your visitor." the nurse said leading Relena to the conversation area of the building. 

As Relena sat down where the nurse led her too she looked up and saw Heero. She lowered her gaze to her hands and rested them on the table they both sat at. "What are you doing here?" he asked taking notice that she wont look at him. "Im a drug addicted. Some new friends of mine are helping me take care of it. Just, stay out of my life for once, wont you!?" she screamed the last part. 

"Your suppose to be the world's savior. The worlds ang-" he was cut off by her. "I can't even save myself. Don't take pity on me. You cannot save me. Hell, I can't even save myself. So just save yourself from my life. Just go. I know you'd hate to face this world alone. Your a solider, but your searching for an angel in me that's not here. I can't make you whole." she finished and left. As she went to the door to exit the room Heero spoke. "Your still an angel. Angel have their faults." he said standing up and Relena turned around and saw the need in his eyes. "Im just as fucked as you." she said and left. Heero sat down and thought for a long time until one of the guards excreted him out. Sure Heero could have just barged into Relena's room. Talked since into her, but for some reason he doesn't know how to do anything anymore. 

- In Relena's Room - 

Relena held herself and looked out the window. 'I guess taking Miriam's advice and speaking from the heart was a smart idea. I hope she doesn't mind I took lines from her song.' Relena thought. Just then Miriam jumped into the room from the door smiling. "Come on. Im taking ya outa her. Get into some comfy cloths." she said and threw Relena a bag. Relena nodded and left to get dressed in the bathroom. 

- In the club near by. - 

Relena looked at her attire. She wore black baggy jeans with a black tank top that says 'Staind. Break The Cycle.' Relena looked around the club. It wasn't really full. Laura said it would become full in 30 minutes or so. Miriam, Aly, Pat and Laura came out from the back of the stage. Each of them wearing something different. Laura wore black baggy pants outlined in glow in the dark plastic with a tank top that said 'Disturbed Inside.' in red blood. Pat wore black normal jean pants with a shirt that says 'If I give you a cookie will you go away?'. Aly wore dark denim jeans with maroon tank top that says 'Metallica'. Miriam wore black baggy jeans with red fire on the sides and a white tank top with A quote by Kurt Cobain on the back and the year he was born and the year he died too. On the front is a picture of him and the words 'I don't have A gun.' under it. 

Relena smiled and walked up to them. "So are you starting soon?" Relena asked. "Yeah, everyone in place." Laura said. Pat went to her drums Aly went to the bass guitar and Laura went to the lead guitar. Miriam grabbed her 12 string guitar and pulled the strap over her head just as Laura and Aly did it at the same time. All of a sudden someone came out from the curtain and went to the turn tables. "We present special guest. Tenoki." Laura said and he began to make noises on the turn tables. 

Relena remembered that name. He is one of the most famous world wide DJ's. After a few seconds Pat came in on the drums, Laura , aly and Miriam began to play their guitars. After a few more seconds Miriam began to sing.   


I know your life is empty   
and you hate to face this world alone 

Relena remembered this was the song she took lines from. Just then it hit her. Heero, he was here. She began to wonder off in the crowd. 

so you're searching for an angel   
someone who can make you whole 

Heero watched Relena squirm around the crowd to get away from him. The chorus of the song caught his attention and he looked at the girl and it seemed as though she as looking at him. 

i cannot save you   
i can't even save myself   
so just save yourself 

As the music played the crowd became larger and they danced and danced. Heero tried to push his way through the crowd. "RELENA!" he called out and watched her push further into the crowd. 

i know that you've been damaged   
your soul has suffered such abuse   
but i am not your savior   
i am just as fucked as you 

As Miriam said this she pointed at Heero and Relena then went back to playing the guitar and singing. Relena and Heero looked at each other at the same time and Relena ran further. 

i cannot save you   
i can't even save myself   
so just save yourself 

please don't take pity on me  
please don't take pity on me 

Once Heero caught her Relena turned to him and sang along with Miriam. 

my life has been a nightmare   
my soul is fractured to the bone 

Heero listened in disbelief. She was telling him to... 

so if i must be lonely   
i think i'd rather be alone 

Leave her alone. Heero quickly let go of Relena and she got up into his face and sang with anger. 

you cannot save me   
you can't even save yourself   
i cannot save you 

Heero wanted to get away from her now. This just wasn't Relena. No it wasn't, she was under the influence of drugs. 'You idiot no she is not. You've been watching her. She hasn't taken any drugs for 2 days.' the voice in the back of his head said. "Go away heero. Leave me alone. Im trying to start things over. Tell the perventers.. Im dead. That you lost track of me and couldn't find me. Just get outa my life." she said to him. Relena was sick of him. She was sick of thinking someday he would love her. All he did was hurt her. She had enough. She needed him gone if she was to go sober. 

i can't even save myself   
save yourself   
so just save yourself 

As Miriam screamed the last part she smiled. As the crowed cheered there heads off. "All right." We will be back tomorrow. again. For a longer and fun concert. At Carnagee Hall. We hope all of your have tickets!" Miriam said and left the stage. 

Once the club was cleared out Relena sat on the stage with her feet dangling and she looked around. 'He's not around. Thank god.' she thought. 'Maybe you where a little too hard on him.' said a voice. God here it comes, that voice that wants her to be with Heero. 'I wasn't mean. I was being truthful. Now shut up. I thought I finally blocked you out.' she thought. 'Well you didn't! Im here to hook you up with Heero. Your ONE TRUE love. I think you lost your chance with him.' the voice said. 'Oh well.' Relena thought and began to walk to the outside to go back to the rehab for 3 long months. Relena looked around. "Im sorry Heero. I can't do this with you looking over my shoulder all the time. Waiting for me to slip up." she said aloud and left. 

In the shadows Heero let a tear roll down his cheek. He could tell she was having trouble figuring out if she did the right thing. 'She did. She doesn't need me around. I'll distract her. Well now to tell the earth and colonies that Relena... has disappeared. It's the only thing I can do for her. She doesn't deserve to be stressed out anymore. She doesn't.' he thought to himself.   
  


A/N: Hehe, that was good. I think it was. Well R&R. Oh yeah Tenoki is my friend Tim's nickname. I think he would make a killer DJ. All I need to do is get him a turn table. ^.^ 

-Peace, Love and Bullet Proof Marshmellows!!! 


End file.
